He's gone on offense

Our poor cat. Really, his life teeters on the thin line between well loved and SPCA report. Avery carries him, feeds him (forcefully), dresses him, and (attempts) to bathe him. This week he's taken a new approach. Offense.
If Avery gets within a 5 ft radius, he attacks. It's a swift little manuever followed by a dash to the highest object possible (to avoid retribution, I presume). Since it is summer, Avery has the battle wounds confirm this vicious little game.
T and I have discussed declawing the cat, but we feel claws are the one thing that keeps us on the well loved side of the thin line. We feel they are vital to the cats defense, but this new offense has really thrown us for a loop.
Suggestions?

15 minutes at our house

1. Noticed something a tad odd about the cat. "Avery, what did you do to Thomas." "Oh, Lipstick mommy." Great...I guess I'll be getting new lipstick. But it is really Thomas's color, we'll save the rest for him.

2. Avery notices that Eli sleeping in the buff (trying to help that diaper rash). "Ohhh, he's wearing the same jammies as daddy." I about lost it at that one. DH had NO idea Avery knew about that...guess he won't be wearing those "jammies" anymore!

Bribery

I'm most definately not above bribery. Tonight, I had a stroke of bribery genius.

T and I wanted to go out to dinner, but didn't plan enough ahead to get a sitter. I actually enjoy taking the kids along and believe it is important that children learn restaurant manners. However, Avery has a very hard time staying in her seat with the overstimulating decorations in restaurants. She wants to analyze every picture.

Nothing motivates Avery quiet like cold, hard cash. Sad, that at two we can't get away with an M&M or something. However, I took a dollar bill stuck it on the chair and told her to sit on it. I said if she got up, I'd be able to take it back and then it would be mine. If it was still there after dinner, then it was hers.

Easiest meal of our lives.

A real animal lover

Today, as we were heading out the door, Avery grabbed a stuffed dog. She also grabbed his cage. Then, she remembered he needed a water dish. At this point, I was so proud of my little animal lover. She's learned responsibility at this tender age. My heart swelled with love and that "I must be doing something right" feeling.

It lasted about 2 minutes. Then our live cat cried and I realized he'd been put in the dryer (not running thankfully, but probably because she can't reach the controls). That was a little buzz kill.

Cheated. My plan backfired.

When Avery was little, I made the horrific parenting flaw that all first time parents make. I encouraged mobility. I remember it clearly that I was a cheerleader and an instructor through the whole process. I also remember that first week of crawling that was so adorably cute. Then, slowly, came the realization that life would never be the same. I'd constantly have to follow behind her and say "No". I'd be vacuuming my floor every 10 minutes for fear that she'd find something.
So, when Eli came along, I (not so jokingly, but tried to make it sound jokingly) told our pediatrician that I would not be encouraging his mobility. It was with shock, awe, and disappointment that at 5 months old my boy started attempting to crawl. What is up with that?
Now, at the ripe old age of 6 months the boy is definately fully on the move. Crazy. Even with all of the encouragement, crawling lessons, and cheerleading, Avery didn't crawl until 9 months. I do NOTHING to encourage this boy to crawl and the sucker figures it out at 6 months.

****Disclaimer****
Just want to make it clear that I completely understand what an amazing blessing it is that my baby has the ability to crawl. He could have come out of my womb crawling and I would have thanked God.

It just makes sense

Avery has a few things (okay more than a few) confused. However, her logic is so much better than conventional logic that I can't even explain it to her without confusing myself a little. So, in order to make things simple, I'm just going to try to change the thinking of the world and allow Avery's logic to remain. I'm pretty sure I'll be more successful that way.

Consider yourself warned:
The thing cowboys ride on are cows, not horses.
Unicorns don't have horns on their head, they have corns.

If you could, please spread the word.

Not that I'm prejudice or anything

I do believe some syllables are more important than others. Avery is going through this thing where she sometimes will leave off the last syllable of a word. When she says "Mom", instead of "Mommy"....not a big deal at all. However, if you happen to be a Target with an incrediably friendly two year old, the last syllable of "Hello" is much, much more vital. Especially when she says it over and over and over. I'm sure of this because I saw the looks. Lots of them.